{"id":10886,"date":"2016-08-12T13:51:38","date_gmt":"2016-08-12T17:51:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/jss-newsletter-vol-4-no-2\/%e3%83%97%e3%83%ad%e3%82%b0%e3%83%a9%e3%83%a0%e5%ae%9f%e6%96%bd%e5%a0%b1%e5%91%8a%ef%bc%9aincredible-years-parenting-program\/"},"modified":"2021-02-17T14:18:38","modified_gmt":"2021-02-17T18:18:38","slug":"prog-report-iy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/jss-newsletter\/jss-newsletter-vol-4-no-2-en\/prog-report-iy\/","title":{"rendered":"Program Report: Incredible Years Parenting Program"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chie Takano Reeves\"chiet_crop\"
\nJSS Community Outreach Worker
\nBetween January and June 2016, Incredible Years (IY)<\/em>, a 14-week parenting program, was co-provided by JSS and Toronto Public Health (TPH), targeting Japanese-speaking mothers with children 2-6 years of age. \u00a0Ikebata Nursery School generously provided the program spaces.
\nIY is a program with scientifically proven effectiveness, developed by Dr. Carolyn Webster-Stratton (Ph.D) in Seattle, U.S., based on various developmental theories such as cognitive social learning theory, modelling and self-efficacy, and developmental interactive learning methods.\u00a0 The program has been delivered in 20 countries including Canada, UK, Australia, Sweden, and Russia. (from The Incredible Years Parent, Teacher and Child Programs: Overview of Program Details<\/em>, 2013)
\nThe short-term goal of the program is to build positive parent-child relationship, prevent or treat behavioural problems, and support and encourage the child to acquire social, emotional, and academic skills before becoming an adult.\u00a0 Each session is precisely designed for parents to acquire skills that consist of (1) learning positive parenting skills from the facilitators and videos, (2) practicing through activities (e.g. role play), and (3) trying it out at home then sharing the results with the group following week.\u00a0 In the long term, the aim is \u201cprevention of conduct disorders, academic underachievement, delinquency, violence and drug abuse\u201d (from The Incredible Years Parent, Teacher and Child Programs: Fact Sheet<\/em>, 2013).
\nIn the sessions at JSS, two trained, accredited IY facilitators \u2013 a JSS social worker (myself) and an English speaking TPH nurse with an interpreter \u2013 led the group for the first time in Japanese in Canada.\u00a0 Regretfully, this was the last IY term because TPH made a decision to terminate the contract with the IY developer in U.S.\u00a0 In this article, I would like to deliver the parenting message of IY, by reporting the program highlight as well as participants\u2019 feedback.
\nImportance of Parent-Child Play Time<\/u><\/strong>
\nIn the first few sessions of IY, the participants have to go through the homework of \u201cplaying with the child (without the parent doing anything else)\u201d and applying various play techniques, to enhance child\u2019s growth in social, emotional, academic skills as well as independency by effective attention giving.\u00a0 Undoubtedly this can be a very difficult task for many of parents who have busy lives in this modern-era with other responsibilities (e.g. work, chores, study) other than parenting.\u00a0 Our participants were the same; many said it seemed impossible to play with their child without doing chores at the same time, and moreover, to play by following the child\u2019s lead.\u00a0 However, they soon began noticing some change in their child\u2019s behaviour after a few sessions.\u00a0 Their whining, crying, or screaming will gradually decrease with plenty of proper playtimes and correct usage of praising. This happens because the child realizes that the parent constantly spends time with them and cares for their feelings.\u00a0 As the child\u2019s security and trust toward the parent grows, the child does not have to earn the parent\u2019s attention with those behaviours that quickly catch the parent\u2019s eyes. \u00a0\u00a0Thus the building positive parent-child relationships will begin.
\nImportance of Praise<\/u><\/strong>
\nIn IY, parents are strongly encouraged to praise the child by specifically pointing out the good that the child did.\u00a0 I often hear people say, \u201cCanadian children are praised too much,\u201d and I myself grew up with my parents telling me all the time, \u201cIt is nothing special to be able to do something\u201d \u2013 meaning, whatever I do does not deserve praising.\u00a0 Some of the IY participants also shared that number of being criticized by parents were much more than being praised.\u00a0 Indeed a child can grow up without being praised.\u00a0 Praising means acknowledging and celebrating that you did the right thing, and it gives a child a clear impression on what they did right.\u00a0 It builds self-confidence in them by repeatedly earning the praise. Even when they could not achieve something, if they are praised for their effort, they learn that it is a good thing to put in effort, as well as the feeling of fulfillment or accomplishment.
\nMore importantly, this provides a sense of trust in the child that the parent is watching out for him or her. They recognize their efforts instead of simply leaving it as \u201cnothing special.\u201d\u00a0 It always amazes me how sensitive children are about how their parents feel about them.\u00a0 The parent can often be the world to the child at this age and praise can be the best reward they ever need.\u00a0 The child may doubt that the parent is interested in him\/her and lose the desire to do their best. This is because they don\u2019t get praised for their efforts, and don\u2019t see the point.\u00a0 It is natural for such a child to seek parental attention by any means possible.\u00a0 In the end, the child learns what behaviour gets parental attention (literally any types of attention, including both praising and scolding), and they repeat this behaviour.\u00a0 Therefore, it is very important to praise any good behaviour your child shows. This includes any small thing such as being quiet on the bus for 5 minutes, or playing among siblings for 30 minutes.\u00a0 You may think these are \u201cnot special enough\u201d to give praise. But by praising the child they learn what they did was right and the behaviour their parent wants to see more of.\u00a0 So, ignore the ones you want to eliminate (unless it is dangerous), and praise your child by telling him\/her what specifically they did right \u2013 \u201cThank you for sitting quietly in the bus,\u201d \u201cYou both are doing great job playing together very nicely,\u201d or \u201cThank you for walking next to mommy (in the public), you are helping me a lot!\u201d
\nBuilding basics first ~ Parenting Pyramid<\/u><\/strong>
\nA child may be surprised or confused by their parent\u2019s new approach at the beginning, but once the parent becomes used to giving proper attention including praising, each formula of \u201cX causes Y\u201d starts accumulating in the child\u2019s mind.\u00a0 The parent following through with these formulae can also build trust and security in a child towards their parent.\u00a0 However, it confuses the child when the parent does not follow through, such as breaking the limit they set or co-parents having different approaches.\u00a0 \u201cConsistency\u201d is one of the most important keys in parenting.\"Chie_parenting
\nIn IY, once the basic part of the positive parent-child relationship is developed, the participants learn highly-skilled techniques such as \u201climit setting,\u201d \u201cignoring,\u201d and \u201ctime out (to calm down),\u201d which often causes resistance from child when applied first the few times.\u00a0 This is the Parenting Pyramid<\/em>, the frame IY uses.\u00a0 In the illustration, the parenting techniques are shown in yellow, and child acquires the skills on the side of the pyramid as the parent tries these techniques. The frequency of the techniques is the same as the shape of pyramid. \u00a0Often the parent wants to master the top 3 rows without obtaining the bottom 2 rows.\u00a0 It is the same as the pyramid that does not stand when it is flipped upside down. \u00a0Without securing the fundamental attachment and trust between child and parent even if you meant to \u201cignore\u201d your child\u2019s problematic behavior, only the child may feel that she\/he, as a whole human being, was ignored.\u00a0 It would not help in building a positive parent-child relationship.
\nImportance of Self-care<\/u><\/strong>
\nAnother big message the program delivers is self-care.\u00a0 Parents are just human beings and sometimes one person can only do so much.\u00a0 You have to take care of yourself by also being praised or asking for help when you need it.
\nIn my experience with parent support groups in JSS, I have encountered many parents telling me that they can\u2019t ask for praise since they are not children. \u00a0Many also believe that child-rearing and home chores are their responsibility just because their partner is the provider or they are women.\u00a0 They do everything they can, and blame themselves for \u201cnot doing enough.\u201d\u00a0 It will eventually break them.
\nParenting is not straightforward, and every child has a different temperament.\u00a0 The things you read in books or learn in various parenting workshops may not work well or it may take a very long time to feel its effectiveness. Besides, a child\u2019s brain takes much longer time to learn things than an adult\u2019s.\u00a0 The frustration and feeling of guilt in regard to the child and other family members will pile up as burdensome stress, and it can become like walls that surround you.\u00a0 Remember, a child senses how their parent might be feeling.\u00a0 Your child may be protective towards you, or may think you don\u2019t like them.\u00a0 When the child sees the parent blaming him\/herself, the child learns to blame him\/herself.\u00a0 When the child sees the parent asking for help, the child will become able to ask for help.\u00a0 You hear this often when you board a plane, \u201cPut the oxygen mask on yourself first, then put it on your child.\u201d\u00a0 It is very important that you as a parent are healthy and happy as much as possible, to take care of your child.
\nAkiko Yano<\/em>, a famous Japanese singer songwriter sings, \u201cMom wants to be praised too.\u201d\u00a0 This is so true.\u00a0 A parents can go forward by being acknowledged and praised for their effort, the same is true for a child. They try harder when they are praised and given attention.\u00a0 No one praises you?\u00a0 Tell them about the great thing you did.\u00a0 If a child sees family members praising each other, it will become an opportunity for the child to learn the importance of recognizing and praising someone for their efforts.
\nDo not blame yourself if you still hesitate or find difficulty in praising your child or yourself.\u00a0 It is natural to feel confused especially if there was not much praise around you when you grew up.\u00a0 Still, please, try to praise even a bit as if you are tricked into it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard this phrase, \u201cFake it \u2018til you make it.\u201d \u2013 You may feel awkward at first, but eventually you will reach the point where you feel comfortable using praise.\u00a0 In IY program, the participants also brainstorm and practice the ideas about praising the parent themselves, giving themselves a reward, methods of handling their emotions (e.g. positive self-talk, positive actions and imaginings), and asking someone for help.\u00a0 For example, telling yourself, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, it won\u2019t last forever,\u201d or \u201cI do this for my child,\u201d can calm you down, as some of our participants suggested.\u00a0 Other ideas such as \u201cdeep breathing before throwing out words that you will regret later,\u201d and \u201ctaking yourself away from the situation, calm yourself down by distraction (e.g. relaxing thoughts), and come back to the child,\u201d were also shared. \u00a0They later reported many times that these methods helped their emotions to calm down when their child\u2019s behaviour really irritated them.
\nThrough the final survey we conducted, the participants suggested that \u201cpraising, even if it is a simple daily matter,\u201d \u201cgiving proper attention\u201d and \u201crespect the child\u2019s self-determination\u201d as being the most important thing they gained from this program.\u00a0 Some also commented, \u201cI feel good that I now know why some things I tried did not work,\u201d or \u201cI learned that parenting is a difficult job for anyone.\u201d\u00a0 Nobody\u2019s perfect.\u00a0 The fact that you are trying as much as you can, is the best gift and teaching for your child.
\n* * *
\nAs I wrote above, JSS and TPH will no longer offer IY.\u00a0 JSS also separately had to make the decision to put certain programs that involved child-minding services on hold due to the system change to ensure safety. See LetterFromBoard-ServiceDisruption(Aug,2016)<\/a>(pdf). JSS recognizes the importance and needs to provide opportunities for parents to talk about parenting as a whole or recognizing the differences between Canada and Japan, in Japanese.\u00a0 Thus, we are working towards reviewing these corresponding policies, making appropriate changes and developing the proper training in order for us to keep up with the legislative requirements.\u00a0 Although these programs are on hold, please do not hesitate to contact us and let us know that you are interested in these programs.\u00a0 We will inform you once they are resumed, and will be happy to help you in finding similar parenting support services near you.
\nChild-minding services are the essential for providing parenting support programs.\u00a0 We need to recruit and train child-minding volunteers more to make the service accessible and at the same make necessary adjustments.\u00a0 Please contact Chie (jss.outreach@gmail.com<\/a>) for volunteer registration and questions.
\nWe really appreciate your ongoing support for our parenting support programs.
\nFor more information about the original IY programs in Seattle, visit their website: http:\/\/incredibleyears.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Between January to June 2016, Incredible Years (IY), a 14-week parenting program, was co-provided by JSS and Toronto Public Health (TPH), targeting Japanese-speaking mothers with children 2-6 years of age.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[269],"tags":[313],"class_list":["post-10886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jss-newsletter-vol-4-no-2-en","tag-jss-report"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10886\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jss.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}